So many people are looking for their ‘one true love’ but here’s why you haven’t found it. This one insight could be the difference that makes all the difference when it comes to finding what love REALLY is, and that is, a beautiful perfect balance between good and bad, positive and negative.
Hear me out as I explain.
If love is all there is, then this means that love is EVERYTHING. This leaves nothing out. Hence, love is a perfect balance between support and challenge regardless of the type of love, whether its between lovers, parents and their kids, between friends etc.
The simple reason why SO many people will never find ‘true love’, is because they are constantly looking for a one-sided love that will always be happy without sadness, all positive without the negative, always supportive and never challenging, always perfect and never flawed, forever passionate and never boring etc etc . . . but here is the simple fact about a relationship like that:
ITS AN ILLUSION AND DOES NOT EXIST and the sooner people can appreciate this, the sooner they will free themselves for this illusion.
‘Looking for a one-sided bliss that doesn’t exist could be the source of your suffering’
Of course, we all have preferences in what we are looking for in a partner, but if you think there is someone out there that will never challenge you, then you are living in a dream world. It could be this addiction to finding ‘fantasy love’, that could very well be the reason for such a high divorce rate in today’s society; could it be that we are all looking for find something that simply doesn’t exist.
There is a saying in Buddhist philosophy that says, ‘the desire to find that which is unattainable is the source of all suffering’. Are you looking for that which is unattainable? Just something to think about.
The truth is that all relationships will have highs and lows, ups and downs, good times and bad, moments of challenge and support. We need to accept that ‘the honey moon phase’ is so amazing because we are always putting our ‘best selves forward’ when we first meet a potential partner. It’s natural to want to have your partner be like that forever, but of course it doesn’t happen that way as you start to see ALL SIDES of that person. Everyone (and i mean EVERYONE) has both a good and bad side, a positive and negative side. Perhaps this is what it means to love unconditionally, it means getting to know the WHOLE person so well, that you accept and love the person in their entirety rather than just the good bits, while trying your best to change the bits you don’t like; that’s a path that never has a happy ending.
Don’t be fouled by all the ‘reality’ TV shows out there about relationships and love at the moment. I put inverted commas around the word ‘reality’, because those shows are anything BUT reality but could be feeding your fantasies that are keeping you attached to some idea of a relationship that you’re unlikely to ever find.